Omni Best Science Fiction Three by Anthology

Author:Anthology [Anthology]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-04-09T00:00:00+00:00

And that just goes to show you how wrong a person can be. A little over a week later, I get a phone call from Bill right after supper. “Fred, you gotta get out here to my place. It’s Jimmy-Ray.”

“What happened?” I say. “Alien pick him up again already?”

“Nah. I don’t wanna get into it on the phone. Just get your ass out here fast as you can.”

I’d have been imagining all kinds of things except I didn’t know what to think, so I just get my ass out to Bill’s place and there’s Jack and Bart and Al and it ain’t poker night.

“That goddam Jimmy-Ray,” Al is saying, almost showing a little life. “I say we call County Medical and have them send out the guys with the nets. What the fuck, who would argue?”

“What’s he done?” I say, getting myself a can of Rolling Rock from the fridge.

“Oh, this is a good one,” Bill says. “The little fucker went and talked, is what he done.”

“Talked? To who?”

“To anybody and everybody he could get on the phone. He called every paper and TV and radio station in a five hundred mile radius and when they put him off, he called a bunch of those other papers, those fuckin’ scandal rags that run all the stories about two-headed babies and guys that eat their own foot. They’re comin’ out to his place tomorrow to get the whole story and take pictures of the little woods behind his house.”

I laugh like hell. “Well, so what? Jimmy-Ray gets his picture in a tabloid next to the story about the latest Elvis sighting. That should pretty much take care of him.”

“Sure, it would,” Jack says, all grim, “if the FBI weren’t comin’, too.”

I think my chin hits the floor. “Jimmy-Ray called the FBI and they just said, ‘Okay, Mr. Carver, we’ll be right over’ ?”

“Not on the first call,” Bill says, and lays it out for me. Jimmy-Ray called the FBI ten times a day every day for like three days until they sent a couple agents out. Apparently, that’s how the FBI deals with cranks, all the people who call up and claim the KGB is controlling their thoughts with microwaves from space satellites and all that shit—they actually send out a couple of agents to talk to them and give them a story about how they checked on the microwaves and set up a machine to block them, nothing more to worry about, blah, blah, blah. It humors the cranks and gives the agents a chance to decide if they’re harmless nutsoids or the kind of flakes who’d think they had to go assassinate the president on orders from space creatures.

So the FBI paid Jimmy-Ray a visit and somehow he got them out in the little woods and they found something—traces of the beam the alien used to pick him up, still sticking to some underbrush or something. Now that was a real stunner, because none of us ever saw anything

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